I can tuck mytits in my pants
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
