I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
