i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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