pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i will never coherently bang her
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
