with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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