I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
