Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
