smell my finger.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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