Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
