K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Randomize
