I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
