Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
