my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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