Dual....:-)
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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