I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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