what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
