Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
