I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
