i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
