So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
