Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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