Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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