My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
