How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
