the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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