all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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