4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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