nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
