All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
