Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
