Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
