their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
should my penis look like a turkey
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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