To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm both gender and math confused
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
