so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
