I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
