after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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