My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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