apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
