My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Randomize
