Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
