Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Holy shit dude........stairs
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
