So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
