New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
this is an emotional support booty call
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
