and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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