Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Randomize
