Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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