Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
As shirtless as possible
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
