Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
