Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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