Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
