Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
